Reality
by Kirlial
Summary: Her brother is alive and it's a miracle as far as anyone is concerned. But he's still pale and sickly and probably still distant. How has he been affected by the experience? She's watching and dreading the answer.
1. The story

**Hey there, here's a little Suguha centric story that I wrote for fun. I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with the results but I'd thought I'd post it anyway. **

**Suguha is completely unaware of anything that happened in Sword Art Online, by the way, and she's not about to ask her brother about it.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Five days had passed since the end of her brother's long coma, where he had been trapped inside a virtual reality. Since waking up he'd had some important interviews with high up figures about the game but mostly it had been physical examinations.

Her brother was strong though and while he couldn't move without support it didn't matter, because he was finally awake and at home. Even their father had appeared so that they could eat lunch together as a family. Kazuto was extremely weakened but Suguha was certain that he was recovering.

"So have you had a rough week?" Her mother asked tentatively, now that they were seeing each other for the first time, she wasn't quite sure what to say.

They'd visited him in the hospital after he'd woken up of course and had already said how relieved they were at his recovery and how they'd missed him and Kazuto had replied in kind. It had been a most heartfelt reunion, never had they felt so lucky or thankful.

Now though, they weren't sure whether to discuss his coma or simply avoid the situation entirely. But there wasn't much else to talk about as his dire situation had practically defined the last two years. And they didn't yet know how much he'd changed from the experience.

"It's strange being so weak," Kazuto answered evenly, delicately gripping his chopsticks in his right hand.

Her brother looked incredibly fragile every time he made even the slightest of movements. They had accepted that it would be the result if he would ever recover and it had seemed like such a small concern compared to his revival. That was still true but his movements were rather pathetic.

Plus there was the long, limp hair proving that he'd physically grown older while in the coma which somehow managed to give him a fairly feminine look. Or it was the weight he'd lost, giving his features the more delicate and less masculine look.

Her mother nodded in agreement though not understanding. She could not imagine what Kazuto would be going through even if she was very sympathetic. "I'm sure you'll be able to walk without support soon," she replied gently.

He glanced down at the pair of crutches next to him with distaste for it was clear he hated being so dependent on them. That was probably why he'd insisted on not having a wheelchair. He didn't want to feel crippled though Suguha didn't think he should be so embarrassed. He'd been through a traumatic experience after all.

"But how long until I'll be able to run and fight?" Kazuto asked, frustrated.

Both mother and father paused at the strange way he'd phrased that. He was asking how long it would be to regain his fitness, until he was as strong as he'd been before the coma, but fight? Why would her dear brother ever want to fight anyone? Or even think about it while still so weakened. He'd never been very aggressive before.

"Within a year hopefully," her mother replied before the momentary silence could become too awkward.

Kazuto sighed, nibbling on some rice. They continued to eat in a somewhat relaxed silence but Suguha kept shooting worried glanced at her brother and noticed her parents doing the same. She couldn't imagine what he was going through and wanted to help him yet he was so distant.

"Suguha?" Kazuto said her name quietly.

"Yes?" She was surprised to be addressed. He wasn't very talkative, especially around her or the rest of her family.

"Do you still practice Kendo?"

Suguha blinked in confusion at the question. Kazuto had dropped out of Kendo when he was seven and he had never held much love for the subject. Even stranger for him to ask things about her! Maybe he was trying to figure out what he'd in missed in the last few years.

"I'm hoping to be in the regionals soon actually, it's going well though I'm a little worried," she replied eagerly, hoping it would sound like a normal conversation. Maybe he wanted to pretend the coma never happened.

"Nonsense, your form is excellent," her father spoke proudly. Suguha smiled sincerely for it was rare to receive any compliments from her father. Rare to see him at all actually.

"Maybe..." Kazuto started but broke off.

"Yes?" Her mother prodded.

He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "I wanted to pick it up again," he admitted shyly.

Another long pause. Such a strange thing for him to say even ignoring his current physical condition. Suguha wished they could immediately encourage him but it would be impossible for him to participate in any sorts of sports for a while.

"That's something to consider," her mother said in a comprising tone. She couldn't agree but it'd be wrong to crush his spirits.

Kazuto nodded as if he had expected that answer. "Then may I visit this hospital?" Kazuto then explained that there was a friend stuck in a relatively nearby hospital and that he had to visit her.

"Wait so you met this girl online?" Her mother asked him cautiously.

"She's quite important to me," he replied defensively.

Mother obviously wished to lecture him about the dangers of online friends but was tactfully hesitating as it concerned the death game. Anything concerning the death game was dangerous to discuss - it could upset her dear brother. And discussing the dangers of an online game would feel like a bad joke.

"Very well but be careful, maybe your sister should come with you just in case," her mother eventually replied, giving her a sharp glance. It wasn't necessary; Suguha would've wanted to help and care of him.

"And I'd like to meet this girl at some point," her distant father chimed into the conversation with some severity in his voice.

Kazuto was nodding reluctantly at mother but turned abruptly to their father at his words. His eyes looked like they were burning, so filled with emotions. It was the most expression she'd seen in him in forever, a big contrast to the dull look he'd been previously wearing.

"She's still in a coma."

The family froze, and Suguha became worried that they'd finally tripped on one of those metaphorical land mines that surrounded her sick brother. This girl that he hadn't even met in real life meant a lot to him for some weird reason.

But then Kazuto relaxed and calmed down. Having finished eating, he was slowly and awkwardly getting up from the table, gripping his clutches to help himself stand up. Suguha could feel his annoyance at relying on them to move. He'd been stuck in a coma for so long though that this was inevitable. Really, he was recovering quickly and being strong in his condition.

"Let's go then, Suguha," Kazuto said, letting out a sigh. He didn't want her to come but was aware that he needed her for purely physical support.

Still she got up, after glancing at both of her parents for permission, and walked next to him, ready to offer her support. He rejected her arm until they had walked through the front door and away from the searching gazes of their parents and then he practically leaned on her for support, even with the crutches. So reluctant to show his weakness.

His muscles were simply unused to working and needed time before they could function. That terrible game had robbed him of more than two years of his life and were still such a huge toll on his strength. Suguha wanted to help him very much.

They walked along in silence, heading over to the bus stop; walking any long distance would be impossible though Kazuto wouldn't admit it. It was a warm, lazy sort of afternoon; perfect for walking at such a gentle pace.

Eventually as they were waiting, her brother broke the silence. Their relationship had always been strained but Suguha hoped that the 'experience' had maybe, possibly made him think about reconsidering that.

"So tell me about your Kendo," he said in a too casual voice, like he'd rehearsed it. And it was certainly a strange topic to choose.

Kendo was something he had bitter memories of and he'd abandoned it. Suguha had taken it up instead of him but it had always been an awkward subject. Maybe he was simply so fragile now that he'd finally started to let go of that bitterness. It was too hard to judge and she was a little reluctant to discuss her Kendo however.

"There's the prelimaries in three weeks, that'll lead to the regionals," she provided, half-hoping he'd drop the subject.

Kazuto nodded. "The preliminaries is where anyone can enter, right? And you're almost certain to get through," he replied, giving her a tentative smile.

She returned it heartily. "That's right - I'm expected to go quite far in it." She hoped that wasn't saying too much, Kazuto's face was unreadable to her.

"You're very hard-working, if I remember correctly," Kazuto replied in agreement. That simple statement showed that he'd missed some of her life too.

"...thanks."

* * *

They were at the hospital watching a pretty girl sleep. It wasn't quite what Suguha had been hoping for when going out with her dear brother. It was strange to think this wasn't only the first time she had seen the girl but possibly the first time her brother had seen her in real life as well. Did he truly meet her whilst in the game?

Still, Suguha tentatively held her brother's hand which was warm and soft despite being frail. It wasn't a new thing for her to stare at someone sleeping unusually still in a coma, their senses absolutely dead to the world. She didn't like that Kazuto would willingly do it too though; she didn't want him to spend more time at the hospital than necessary. She had imagined many times what would happen if he recovered and it never ended with him still and silent and unhappy. Why couldn't he be laughing outside, drinking in sunshine to bring colour to his pale, sickly complexion?

She did not say anything out loud though; he almost certainly wouldn't listen to her anyway. She did give his hand a gentle squeeze though, letting him know that she was here for him when he needed it. She loved him after all, even if he didn't understand her and, though it was hard to admit it even to herself, she didn't understand him all that well either. That intent stare he gave the sleeping girl was an absolute mystery, for instance.

This sleeping girl was something Suguha had no answer for. Kazuto was looking at the girl with such care in his eyes that it made her a little envious, almost. But she reassured herself that whatever feelings there appeared to be couldn't be altogether real as they only knew each other from the terrible game. Suguha couldn't trust anything from such a horrible game and therefore wasn't about to trust that girl. How could she? The girl looked innocent enough just lying there but even unconscious she was keeping Kazuto inside the horrible hospital. Kazuto deserved to be outside enjoying himself, not sitting there looking depressed and ill.

Suguha tugged her brother's hand again and shot him a comforting smile when he glanced at her. She'd be here to remind him that he was alive and she was with him. It was real for her and she'd make sure it was real for him too.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Currently this is just a one-shot though if you like it I may expand it some more. Still, right now I want to focus on my other story, cursed hero, so I can't say how often I'd update it. I would appreciate any reviews or comments you have though.**

**The idea here was that Suguha and family didn't properly understand that Kazuto was actually in a game; they imagined him sleeping and couldn't quite realise that he'd met people and learned how to fight monsters and basically have an adventure in a different world. They don't understand him and aren't sure how to act around him. Not sure if I got that across very well.**


	2. And then some

**Greetings, so I was rather stunned at the number of reviews this little story has garnered, most of which asking for more. I've been a bit hesitant about writing more as I'm not sure it measures up to the first chapter or if my ideas for a plot would be popular. Also I've never tried changing viewpoint in a story before but this chapter will be from Kazuto's point of view.**

**Still I do hope you enjoy it anyway! Either way I'm pleased at how the first chapter was received.**

* * *

Breathing. The sensation of the living. Maybe the fact that it was so hard to take in enough air showed how much he wanted to be alive. Asuna's breath had been almost silent, he recalled. Was she only trapped because she wasn't trying hard enough? Didn't she wasn't to be alive too?

Kazuto was still save for the rise and fall of his chest. The game hadn't emulated breathing perfectly and the real thing felt very good. He was still trying to get used to it. Maybe that's why he was able to simply lie on his bed as if waiting for something to happen and just listen to the sound of his breathing.

Still, it was easier being in his room rather than trying to face the outside world. It was a maelstrom of different feelings and sensations that he'd previously taken for granted but were now so refreshing after being starved of them for so long. Well they were overwhelming too. Aincrad did have these artificial sensations and for a while it had felt like a second world but it simply couldn't succeed in grasping the vividness of reality.

Not that anything seemed all that vivid in terms of colour. Aincrad had been a bright world, filled with grass and flowers that would simply seem striking here where everything was just a little duller, not created to look bright and alive. Still, it was far from unpleasant and he wondered just when the bright colours of Aincrad had begun to grate on him.

Kazuto lifted his right arm high above his head, staring at it. It felt stiff and within seconds it started to ache a bit but he didn't let it drop. His hand looked ever so frail, especially when he recalled his strong virtual hands that could be almost impossibly deft. He twitched his fingers and they were stiff too, like everything he'd attempted to move. It was ever so jarring when compared to his virtual reflexes, which were officially the best in the game.

His eyes shifted to his plain walls of his room which had always been unremarkable. An idea formed in his mind and he let his arm drop to his side, before grabbing a pencil from his side table. He hadn't had much reason to hold stationary in Sword Art Online but the grip on it was very familiar anyway. He leant towards the wall and drew a line on it.

Sure enough, the pencil left its mark. That hadn't been possible in Aincrad, with walls classed as 'immortal objects'. For a world that was supposed to mimic reality, it was so perfectly designed that there were many limitations. Something as easy as drawing on the wall had been utterly impossible and everyone's favoured way of playing had always been to exploit the system. There was many, many flaws that could be picked up if you were in the game long enough. And everyone had been.

Kazuto allowed himself to drop the pencil and relaxed his head against his pillow once again. Even just lying here, it was impossible to mistake this for a game. The real question was whether he actually preferred it.

Living in a game was not sustainable seeing as you couldn't produce food or anything to care for yourself, nor were you contributing to society in anyway but regardless of that, it had been fun. The dying part had been ridiculous and made everyone feel bitter in there but the game had been exciting.

Then again, as much as he loved playing games, he did want to stop every so often or maybe try different genres after being in one for a while. Sword Art Online had eliminated any choice and killed quite a lot of the fun very effectively. Even trying to relax couldn't be done all the time if they wanted to ever get out.

Overall Kazuto was certain that he didn't want to have been stuck in that game. Only now that he was out though he wasn't sure if he could endure living in such a slow and clumsy body. He wasn't planning on going back in a Virtual reality any time soon, given that it had been just six days since getting out of the first one. Even so, he wanted to do something very much, but his limits were scaring him.

He sighed, sitting up with only a small amount of effort. He shakily tried to stand up, grabbing his sturdy cane for some extra support. He was getting to the stage where he was balanced even without it but moving effectively was still a chore. Shrugging on a jacket that had been hanging by the door, he left his room.

He hardly taken a step out of his own room before Suguha walked (with great ease) out of hers. Kazuto was almost certain that this was no coincidence and that she was just there to offer help, like she was obliged to.

"May I help?" She asked timidly, not looking at his face. Suguha seemed so nervous about being insensitive that she was acting almost like he was as fragile as glass.

Of course, they'd been distant before Sword Art Online and he recalled talking to Silica - Reiko – about how he wanted to mend their relationship. Still, Suguha had changed a great deal from the smaller and chirpier girl who had been so eager to please that she hadn't been able to understand it when Kirito had stopped being so caring. Now she was calmer and more quiet but also far more sensitive at reading moods.

This Suguha was cautious around him, like she understood him better now except she didn't. Two years was a long time and both of them had changed. Suguha hadn't grasped that he'd had a life and did change while stuck in the game. He had nothing to show for it however, all she could see was that he was weaker.

He allowed her to take him downstairs though and he quietly informed her that he just wanted to sit outside for a while. She gave a single nod in reply. She led him outside in silence and he couldn't find any words to say to her. Fixing the broken bonds was far harder than Silica –Reiko- had made it sound when they'd talked.

They sat down on a low garden wall, Suguha immediately awkwardly shifting away from him but not actually leaving. It was slightly chilly but breathing felt better outside for some reason. The air was remarkably refreshing and in his warm jacket, the cold was hardly a concern. Being outside felt healthier than being in his room, alone.

He experimented with opening and closing his fingers, trying to get used to the stiff sensation of moving them. He could see that Suguha was watching him, probably bored. As he tilted his head towards her though, she immediately looked away. Were they attempting to keep each other at arms' length?

Kazuto yawned, recalling seeing Asuna just yesterday. This morning, his mother (his father had left early as normal) she had advised him to only go to the hospital every three days and focus more on recovering. Asuna's recovery was important too though, recalling her just lying on the hospital bed was a chilling thought. He didn't know what he could do for aside from lend support by sitting next to her.

Absently he put his hands into the pocket of his jacket, feeling a note he'd scrawled down last night. With Suguha looking at him he didn't get it out as her reaction would likely not be a pleasant one. In three weeks' time there would be multiple stadiums hosting preliminaries for the National Kendo tournament and that would be the perfect place to prove he had skills that mattered somewhere.

Despite everything, Kazuto was proud to have beaten Sword Art Online. It was such a unique experience and he had made friends and worked hard. Sadly, most of what he learned wouldn't apply to the real world and he was two years behind in terms of education. It wouldn't be amazing if his little sister was past his level by now. She was now far fitter too with all that Kendo she'd worked hard on in real life.

While Kazuto wasn't that tough, he at least thought that he could fight well. He'd carried a pair of swords every day for two years and there was never a day in which he hadn't been fighting. He knew how to keep fluid, deliver devastating strikes and read his opponents. The main drawback was that he wasn't sure just how well he could lift a kendo blade or if he fight for very long. If he was to fight, the battles would need to be quick and decisive. It was a crazy idea.

"Kazuto?" Suguha was looking at him.

He turned to her robotically. "Yes?"

"Oh - it's nothing really. You've been dealing with this admirably, that's all," she replied swiftly, blushing for some reason.

Suguha sounded like she'd wanted to say something else. He wondered why she might have changed her mind. She could act ever so strangely.

"Thank you. You can go inside if you're bored though. I'm not going anywhere," he replied softly. Strangely, even his mouth seemed slightly stiff, making him talk slowly, giving the impression of great care with his words. It was easier to say very little.

Suguha hesitated, looking conflicted. Something had to be troubling her but he couldn't begin to guess at what it might be. After a moment, she stood up however, giving him a cautious smile. "Do call if you…" she began before trailing off.

Kazuto could tell that she'd meant 'call if you need me' and that was apparently too awkward for her to say audibly. She really did think he would throw a fit at the wrong string of words, didn't she? "Don't worry." He answered her simply.

She scampered off, giving him side glances until she'd retreated through the doorway. She was probably going to be in her room for the next few hours; Kirito had noticed that she spent a lot more time in there than she used to but supposed that it was fairly normal behaviour as a teenager. Or perhaps she'd finally gotten used to living without him there to entertain her. Not that he had ever been particularly engaging.

He focussed on moving his arms again, looking for some improvement after this practice but he was only getting tired of exerting such work on arms and legs that hadn't had to move in over two years. It was no wonder that his family hadn't quite grasped that he had been fighting for his life almost daily in Sword Art Online when all they could see was his physical body deteriorating.

He wondered if there was some way to tell them about what he had experienced though he couldn't imagine himself initiating that sort of conversation. How could he explain the thrills of creeping through dungeons or the close relationship he had nurtured with Asuna? Maybe that's why the idea of secretly going to a preliminary kendo round was so lucrative, even if it was stupid. Even if he wouldn't get very far in any tournament despite the amount of skills he'd picked up.

Kazuto sighed, wishing yet again for all his strength to return.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if Kazuto sounds in character or not, nor if there should've been more interaction with over characters. **

**To be clear, if I did continue this, I'd like to think it'd be slowly diverging from canon though I know there hasn't been any changes to initiate that. Once again, thanks for all your lovely reviews and I'll see if I can draw up enough inspiration for more.**

**Please do leave a review - I appreciate them. **


	3. Talk

**Hey there, I've received a lot of positive responses despite this being quite short. You guys are great! Sorry that this is being updated so slowly though. **

**In this chapter a little time her passed and I'm switching back viewpoints again. Suguha is getting her to the idea of her brother being back so she may seem calmer, getting slightly used to things. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

Her house felt rather tranquil with her parents both out and her brother practically non-existent. Now that he was no longer imprisoned in his hospital bed, his absence was barely noticeable. It was strange really, how much she had missed him and now that he had returned to the realm of the living, she didn't miss him even if she still didn't see him.

No, the hollowness had completely gone. All those times she had imagined herself playing together with him one last time. She could recall dreaming about walking outside with him in the open air and talking to him and basically appreciating his existence like she hadn't before the 'event'. But he was fine now, so the dreams had vanished.

There was more than one reason for the silence being so welcome. Suguha clutched the sleek metal Amusphere close to her chest, conducting considering putting it on again. She hadn't visited her secret world of Alfheim in more than two weeks, not since her brother had recovered. But maybe with the silence signifying that everything was normal she could return.

It was strange to think that Kazuto's coma had begun with a device so like this one. It had trapped him in his mind and nothing anyone could do was able to break such a tight hold. Nothing but death. In comparison her little device was a gentle one that kept her aware of the outside through sounds - it was a connection that could be so easily lost at any time and yet was still very precious.

Suguha put on the Amusphere, content in the knowledge that for once everything was fine and would be when she returned. Soon her mind was a full array of colours as she was pushed into the body of Leafa, her beautiful fairy avatar.

A couple hours later, Suguha took the chance to leave her game when she heard the distinctive sound of her front door being opened. In truth, she hadn't ended up having the energy to do more than sort out her affairs and then do some flying. Nothing was quite like flying. Still the frustrating game mechanic of having to take ten minute breaks reminded her of the patience required to properly enjoy herself. Who designed that feature anyway?

Exiting her room, she was surprised to see her brother carefully climbing the stairs. Well, not surprised that he was attempting it, but surprised that he wasn't losing momentum. His stamina had improved faster than she'd expected it seemed. Realising that he would soon catch sight of her, she considered retreating to her room to avoid trying to converse with him, as she was practically obliged to do.

"W-where have you been?" She asked timidly, not meeting his eyes even as he reached the top of the staircase.

"The hospital," was his short reply. Kazuto was leaning slightly on his crutch though he tried not to.

She didn't know how to respond. Was there any chance he wasn't there to visit the sleeping girl? Perhaps she had been too relaxed about his absence in the morning.

He barely waited for her to respond before considering the short exchange over, turning stiffly to enter his own room. She couldn't help but notice that he was breathing rather heavily and she wanted to remind him not to overexert himself while he was still so frail but she didn't know how to say so. So she said nothing.

The Kendo tournament was fast approaching. Such a normal thing for her and she had no distractions to stop herself from doing her best. Kendo was a pure experience that could not be tainted by others.

That's what she's thought until she entered her training room.

Her brother was there. Standing upright, balanced without his crutch. He didn't see her come in given that he was facing the opposite wall, deep in thought. She quietly observed him.

Her kendo sword was held steadily with a two-handed grip. His arms seemed surprisingly relaxed and his form was less rigid and awkward than she would have expected. Did he know what he was doing?

And why was he here? This place could not possibly hold good memories for him yet he had come of his own accord. She had noticed these little changes in him over the past few weeks and she could only wonder at his recent thoughtful demeanour but this was more than she would have expected.

Optionally, maybe he had been searching for her for some reason and had gotten distracted? She wanted that to be true even if it was a little unlikely. It would be best to announce her presence just in case though.

"I didn't know you remembered this place," she broke into the silence, trying to be a little teasing to avoid a serious mood.

He turned around rapidly and she found her own sword pointed directly at her chest. Kazuto blinked and lowered the weapon until it touched the floor and no longer burdened his arms. She was pleased he didn't drop it carelessly as she really didn't want it damaged.

"Was this supposed to be your secret hideout?" He asked cheekily.

She allowed herself to smile. "This is just the decoy secret hideout, you'll never find the true one," she retorted.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only the decoy challenge," she replied swiftly. It had been a long time since she'd spoken so easily with him, without the awkwardness.

"Are you suggesting that you have a secret challenge for me?" Kazuto was leaning slightly on her kendo blade, but hardly seemed aware of it.

"Um... are you interested?" Suguha replied slowly.

"That's why I'm asking." His tone a challenge in itself, asking for a good reply.

"Well would the challenge of cutting your hair be beyond you?" She asked, raising an eye at the somewhat limp shoulder-length hair that he hadn't gotten around to cutting off.

"Suddenly I'm beyond caring," he said in a deadpan voice.

"Maybe next time then?" She said with a shrug.

"We'll see," he said, walking past her to grab his crutch. It seemed that he was preparing to leave.

"Hey, Kazuto?" She asked in a more serious tone.

He stopped, cane in one hand. "Yeah?" An equally sober tone.

"Did you... come here because you were interested in Kendo?" She asked, feeling awkward asking suddenly.

He glanced away, silently handing her sword over to her. "Something like that," he admitted vaguely.

She gave him a bright smile, even if he wasn't looking at her. "Thanks, it really means a lot to me."

"Yeah."

* * *

Two days later, when he appeared for lunch, Suguha noted that he had finally cut his hair, restoring it to its old style. It was weird how similar he now looked to the him of nearly 3 years ago. It wasn't just the hair either, the somewhat baggy clothes he wore downplayed his frail features. But just how different was he now?

She didn't say anything aloud but did catch his eye long enough to shoot him an amused look. He just rolled his eyes at her.

* * *

An hour later, Kazuto left the house, mentioning that he was going to visit the hospital yet again to stare at the dead girl. Well the words he'd used were technically 'visit Asuna' but either way it sounded unhealthy and draining. Once he was gone, Suguha realised that she was really missing him again. That emptiness that refused to go away.

What was so special about Asuna? Suguha was supposed to be able to understand her brother, she'd been making a bit of an effort and yet he didn't make sense to her. Did Asuna know him in a way she didn't? Was that why she seemed to matter more than her?

But why did she miss him now? Things had been improving between them, more than she had hoped for. He was recovering quickly. The house ought to have been calm not lonely, not when those she cared for were all alive and well.

She sighed. Many times she had felt lonely in the last year and so far the best escape was her world, Alfheim. Maybe it was just a temporary distraction but it was refreshing. It was the place to retreat to. She climbed the stairs to her room, making a note to listen for his return, whenever that would be.

* * *

**That's it for now. I want to write at least another chapter or two but after that I'll probably consider it complete. Reflecting on it, I don't really consider it a story that needs to diverge from Canon. Anyway, please do leave a review, hope you liked it so far.**


	4. Patience

**Long time no see. I should have finished this story a long time ago, it's not right to leave it in such an incomplete state. I won't pretend this chapter is worth the wait but I hope you'll enjoy and review it anyway. **

**Once again, I'm switching to Kazuto's point of view. **

* * *

He watched. She fought.

Watching felt right, for his eyes were as active as ever. Truthfully, his vision felt stronger outside the game somehow, for the world contained a depth that he'd forgotten was possible. Oh, he'd gotten used to his world in the last few weeks but watching a fight brought it into clarity once again.

He had witnessed countless fights of varying magnitude over the years but seeing his sister fight with no unnecessary flashiness nor exaggerated flourishes seemed refreshing. He was able to follow her subtle movements as she executed a complicated flurry of moves, ending in a resounding clang as her sword met her opponent's head.

He could tell that she was the stronger player, and it was good to know that some of his experiences could be slightly useful. He hadn't kept his strength but his mind remembered Aincrad, recalled the battles and the players. If nothing else, he could watch a fight and appreciate the skills involved.

His dark eyes shifted to the side, where his parents - both of his parents - watched Suguha. It was strange and familiar to have his father so near, for Kazuto had seen him many times in the past few weeks. He suspected it had been his plight that compelled his father to spend more time with their family. Kazuto's lack of presence had brought them closer.

At times, it was easy to hate Kayaba for subjecting him to the cruel game. Yet more and more, as his existence in reality stretched ahead of him with no suggestions of peril, Kazuto could only feel bitterness. He remembered Kayaba's vacant expression as his world faded away and it was difficult to conjure up any fury.

Then he would recall Asuna. Not the smiling but headstrong girl he'd married in a game but the pale, unmoving figure lying on a bed with the nerve gear covering her face. Asuna was trapped it seemed, in the space between spaces, neither in one reality or another. Then there were the deaths, a few thousand of them, as a result of Kayaba's 'game'. Kayaba didn't deserve anyone's sympathy.

His musings lead to one question that he was reluctant to ask himself. Did he regret Sword Art Online? Outside in an open arena, watching his sister deftly finish her opponent, it was easy to forget that it had even occurred at all. It was like a dream, only one that he could actually remember.

But then he would try moving and remember how easily he was exhausted, and almost wish to wake up in Aincrad where he was at least strong and fit. Could he forgive the game for weakening him physically? And mentally too, at least in terms of his education.

Kazuto found himself staring uselessly at an empty field, for his sister had gone to rest, her fight having been won. Suguha was another thing to consider. Their relationship had been silently deteriorating for a long time before the death game. Without it, would he have realised the need for change and would he be trying to mend things with her? Maybe he'd still be pretending that she was just his cousin, as if their blood relation actually mattered.

He sighed. Questioning the past was a useless endeavour; the fact of the matter was that SAO happened and there was no use in trying to deny it or get angry about it. There wasn't really anyone to be angry at anymore given that Kayaba was most certainly dead. He'd just have to be content with how things were now and happy with the few good experiences he'd had even within the game. He would hope that Asuna would wake up and that she still loved him.

* * *

He made an effort to stand up. His family wanted to see him fully recovered and he didn't want to disappoint them. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't heavily leaning on his crutches, but he could pretend it didn't bother him.

Suguha looked him in the eyes and he knew she could see how much of a struggle it was for him. At some point in his absence, she had become very perceptive; she had grown up. She shot both her parents bright grins however, which they returned.

Kazuto failed to manage a smile. Suguha had won every one of her fights, securing herself a place in the regionals. It was a good achievement, one she deserved to be proud about. But Kazuto couldn't help but think of his own secret achievements, which inevitably went unacknowledged - his family hardly realised that Aincrad had been a world after all.

As Suguha quietly went to stand beside him, and surreptitiously offered him her arm for gentle support, he knew he couldn't hold it against her. He pressed one stiff hand down on her shoulder, feeling a tinge of embarrassment but also rather relieved.

"You fought well," their father said to her a hint of pride in his tone.

Suguha shifted, likely getting more comfortable with his weight. "The competition wasn't too fierce at this stage," she replied, but looked pleased with the so scarcely heard praise.

"Oh, I know you fought your friend Nami and she's been fighting almost as long as you have," their mother interjected, because attaining victory had hardly been a walk in the park.

Suguha just nodded as they made their way to the car to back home. Kazuto knew they only took the car for his benefit but he was grateful for it, a long walk was beyond his abilities at the moment though he was hardly used to his limitations.

"Well done," he murmured.

He felt her turn towards him. "I never thought you'd be able to watch." She said it as if it were a confession.

"Sorry I shouldn't mention..." Suguha added, trailing off awkwardly.

He felt like sighing again. Why would he be offended that she missed him? Until he woke up, he hadn't really expected that he'd eventually leave the game. Certainly not when there were still 25 more floors to unlock.

"I missed you too, you know?" He muttered, as he carefully followed her into the car. It was a relief to sit down again, legs unused to walking.

He almost missed her shocked expression. "Really?" She uttered.

"You're my only sister, I'm practically obliged to," he replied with a slight smirk.

"Yeah but..." She broke off. "Sometimes I thought you didn't care."

He frowned, thinking back to how he had avoided her for so long. The stuff that bothered him then hardly mattered to him now. But his cold behaviour then was all she had to remember him by when he'd been trapped in the game. It was obvious that she was still affected by it. He cursed himself for having been such an idiot all those years ago.

"It wasn't ever your fault, and I know that now," he asserted, reaching over to grip her hand.

Her hand felt warm and solid in his frail grasp. He'd held hands with people in SAO and he had always marvelled at how warm and lifelike they could feel but gripping a real hand was better. Sure, her hand was a little sweaty and her nails dug into his skin a bit but holding hands would feel lacking without such sensations.

"Thanks. For being there," Suguha replied quietly, but he could nevertheless detect some genuine emotion.

He nodded, not sure what else to say. She always seemed to look at him with expectations and he could only wonder why. He was hardly ever impressive around his family.

But for now she was happy, partly from her accomplishments but also from their conversation. And he had no idea how he was feeling really. Tired, a little frustrated, somewhat lost but getting better. Kazuto couldn't help but impatiently wish to just be better especially when he knew recovery was supposed to take many long months.

When they arrived home, Suguha swiftly climbed the stairs and retreated into her room. Kazuto, less quickly, also made his way into his own room, practically crawling up the stairs for his muscles ached from all the little movements he'd done. He immediately collapsed on his credibly soft and comfortable bed.

He wondered if his father would insist they eat dinner together as a family. They seemed to relish time spent together now. Kazuto wouldn't be able to deny them his presence as much as he would have liked to just lie on the bed without moving.

It was amazing how serious and difficult life could feel. Sometimes when he'd been in Aincrad, he'd imagined finally getting out, but he'd never really imagined what it would actually be like. It wasn't a dream come true as things hardly felt easy and pleasant and fun. Instead, life remained stressful, merely a different kind of stress to what he'd felt in SAO.

Not that he wasn't glad to be out. It was a relief, but it had it's own challenges. His life wasn't on the line anymore but having good relations with his family was important too. Plus, Asuna remaining trapped was a problem with no solution.

Kazuto vowed that he'd find a way to save her somehow. He also made a promise to make an effort with his sister and a commitment to working to become strong and healthy. It was all he could do.

* * *

**That's sort of an end. Looking at it now, I hope this little story seems like it could fit between the Aincrad and Alfheim arcs. It was hard to find a good place to end this but stopping here seems okay. **

**I'm not sure I gave Asuna enough prominence in Kazuto's thoughts but then this story isn't about her, it's about Kazuto and Suguha.**

**Now I want to just thank all those who reviewed and favourited this story. I feel bad for abandoning this for so long when all your comments were so very encouraging! I know I wouldn't have even got past the first chapter if I didn't receive such a wonderful response. Thank you!**


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